The multi-casualty line up car crash explosion that you just can't look away from

I have been meaning to write about "Shrinking" for a while and always came up just a little short for the right words. As a therapist, it was definitely a can’t stop looking at this multi-casualty line up car crash explosion moment for so long until it got better but I am still stuck with the biggest conundrum of all, “how honest can you be with your clients before it becomes too much”, because it is very well known, and well-practiced to nudge, to gently direct, to enlighten without becoming pushy so as to not rob your clients of their independence and autonomy but I’d be lying if I hadn’t felt the frustration of “how are they not seeing this yet!”  and more importantly, how cool would it be to introduce myself as a Psychological Vigilante instead of uhhh, therapist:) 

And so, here are some thoughts about this show, summarised, and many more still untouched.

I spoke to my colleagues and we discussed at length about how this show is inadvertently adding to the many cultural discourses that exist about therapy and you bet we asked ourselves how we feel about this -what came up was interesting. A lot of us agreed that the kind of directive, out -of office therapy that Jimmy (Jason Segel) engages in has to be well thought out and depends entirely on how much your client trusts you and the timing has to be just right but mostly all of us agreed that we would never go that far which is fair because I don’t think I’d be comfortable having any of my clients in my home, much less living with me or interacting with my friends. But what Jimmy does in meshing these parts of his life with next to no inhibitions is that maybe, there is a different kind of trust and alliance that was being built? For example, my general rule with clients if I ever meet them anywhere outside of our sessions and offices is to leave it up to the client to make the first move. If they feel comfortable enough to say hi to their therapist in the produce aisle of a supermarket or introduce their therapist to a friend or partner we have definitely spoken about in session, that’s great! I'll say hi, how are you and be on my way but when I saw Jimmy open up his home and his friends to his client in a time of need, I first felt awkward. Mind you, this is a client with a history of violence so as much as I want to help this young man out, maybe we do it within the safety of an office, right? What I saw over the course of these episodes with Jimmy and the client- Sean, is a deeper, more authentic relationship build between the both of them, that if my therapist is inviting me to stay with him, given my history, giving me a chance knowing that he has a young daughter at home, letting me be part of his friends and his life then maybe I am not as bad a person as I think I am? 

While I may never disclose personal information or let any of my clients into my home, it has got me thinking about being slightly more open and honest in my sessions, and just a little bit of trust that my relationship with them could be deeper if I let them know I am human as well. 

I was also left to wonder how much of this is a resistance to radical thinking within therapeutic interventions and how much is well-founded caution because at the end of the day, therapy only works when there is a concrete future plan. Working with children has taught me the benefits of moving beyond the proverbial couch, so to say and I am a firm believer in learning with each client so where would the line be before therapy at an MMA rink? 

On the other hand, Jimmy is coming from a place of deep pain and grief, not just for himself but also his daughter and as much as they maybe moving past the death of his wife and their relationship maybe growing with each episode, he is very clearly relying on his clients’ progress for his own healing. A lot of the strategies he pushes his clients towards are undoubtedly self-serving and therefore, makes sense that they backfire. (This is only in addition to the number of ethical guidelines and rules that he breaks with his “jimmying” therapy, we can’t forget that!) So I do empathise with everything that Jimmy has going on in his personal life- also very human and moreover, I have found myself having to show up for my clients right after a bad break-up or a doctors appointment so I know how hard that is but what I think happens in these moments is that because it gets so hard, we try to find easier ways to be there for our clients, which can very quickly become directive and robbing of autonomy. I might want to tell my client, on her 20th session of going back and forth to her abusive husband to leave his ass too but what I can do instead is maybe ask the right question that will prompt my client in the right direction instead of forcing her to do it. But asking these right questions is hard, it’s why we pay so much to study so much. 

It is also why I am so happy that the new season does focus on Jimmy’s and his daughter, Alice’s grief. As I watched Jimmy start his healing, I found myself breathing a sigh of relief. But that’s the thing about grief right? There is no timeline, you can’t put an end date to your grief- it’s always there with you, especially something like this, where you lose someone you were deeply attached to in many intricate ways. 

And so, it doesn’t surprise me that this show is listed as a comedy.  Any other genre and this show would almost be too much to take in. My hope is that people watching this are able to make that distinction between Jimmy’s actions that are purely for comedic effect and what real therapy looks like, especially because I can assure you not a single one of us are living in pool houses and spending so much time outside of our offices, at least not in India. 

Lastly, as a therapist, I have to say, I am not fully against “Jimmying” with my clients but I would much prefer doing it with a lot more intentionality, forethought and planning.  And I will definitely think twice before showing up to sessions before I feel completely capable.